


Get Up, Get Coffee

by cupofstars



Series: Code Monkey Like You [1]
Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Dot Com Startup, Alternate Universe - Office, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-19
Updated: 2016-10-19
Packaged: 2018-08-23 08:42:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,338
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8321314
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cupofstars/pseuds/cupofstars
Summary: Byun Baekhyun's job is okay.  His life is okay.  But then his college buddy Kim Joonmyun comes by with pizza and a proposition.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is un-beta'd, so if you find any typos or errors, or if you just are plain confused, please let me know!
> 
> (Series inspired by the Jonathan Coulton song of the same name.)

Startups were always tricky.  Baekhyun was no stranger to working at young companies; he’d just gotten his MS and was used to reliably cranking out code and swatting bugs.  And parts of startup culture he liked.  He kind of enjoyed the mad panic of deadline, the way his veins felt when he knew he had two hours left, was four Red Bulls into a three day stretch with no sleep, and had to do the work of three people.  (He also admitted that he was kind of masochistic that way, and the majority of people would get ulcers or alcoholism working like that for too long.)  Baekhyun also liked how small the teams were at startups.  You could get more shit done if you could just throw something at the guy you needed to do the thing.  But even that came with its downsides.  If the guy you needed to do the thing got a DUI or a hangover or a divorce, you were fucked and had to do the thing yourself - even if the thing wasn’t something you thought you could do at all, like draw a logo or hold a meeting with sales agents in another country. _Go all in or go home. Sink or swim._ _Work hard, play hard._  Baekhyun had heard it all.  It was like shifting stances into a video game; each a different side of Baekhyun, each requiring its own skill set.

 _Play Hard._ Startups paid okay ( _for now_ , Baekhyun thought, always _for now_ because someday he’d have his own company or his own rich spouse or his own miraculous theatre debut).  He had (minimal) health insurance.  He had a coffee table he’d put together himself from IKEA, he had a comfy secondhand sofa that he’d spruced up with a blanket that was as soft as it was expensive (read: too expensive, but the near velvet feel of the throw was important during marathon viewings of _Love, Actually_ or _Fullmetal Alchemist_ ).  He even had a pet.  Well, it was a fish, so it barely counted.  But Ezreal seemed to like him all right.  The beta would swim madly toward the top of the tank when Baekhyun went to feed him, and having _something_ that needed him around was vaguely comforting.  And sometimes Ezreal would even follow Baekhyun’s fingers if he ran them over the top of the water.

 _Work hard._ Every company required that he be on top of his game, stressing and mollycoddling each line of code, teasing them until they became functional and even beautiful in their own way.  If he didn’t like how the company ran, the exit was always nearby, with five or six other guys who’d just graduated, starving for what he had.  And what he had wasn’t … bad, per se.  There wasn’t really a manager for his department; it was just expected that everyone work together to create innovations to the app they were working on (something something Pinterest killer, something something home design) to make it work for every new version of every new mobile platform (who still had a BlackBerry?), _and_ to make sure that it was intuitive to use.  Baekhyun usually got relegated to making things “look smoother”, something that he suspected had to do with his degree in music performance as much as it did his actual performance at work.  But _work hard_ Baekhyun got it done.  He sat in his corner of the office, headphones on, glad that he had a corner because it meant that nobody could sneak up from behind him and steal 30 minutes of his time talking about where they were gonna order from for lunch.  They couldn’t go out because that would waste time, and they probably wouldn’t eat in the breakroom for the same reason.  (Which was unfortunate, as the breakroom was beautifully kitted out with comfortable chairs, snacks, and beverages, the money with which purchased them Baekhyun wished would go toward a possible dental insurance option, but that was neither here nor there.)  For ten hours, Baekhyun would sit at his desk, hunched over two laptops (one for iOS, one for Android), tapping furiously for short stretches of time and dicking around on Snapchat for as long as he felt he could get away with.

And that’s when it happened, in a probably too long but totally needed break from the madness.  Busy flicking through the options on Grindr ( _slept with him, slept with his roommate, no, no, can’t see your face, that is an actual picture of a horse what the fuck_ ) Baekhyun had nearly jumped three feet when his text alert went off.

> _Myunnie >  Hey, can you meet up later?_

> _> Sure, why?_

> _Myunnie >  I have a proposition for you._

> _> Ew._

> _> But no really, I’m just gonna be bingeing Cutthroat Kitchen, you can come over._

> _Myunnie >  Be there around 9.  :)_

Baekhyun smiled to himself, thinking that maybe he could order a pizza while he and his friend caught up.  Joonmyun had been crazy enough to launch his own startup five months ago, and Baekhyun hadn’t really talked to him since.  They’d been friends in college - not best friends, but friends of each other’s best friends, so close enough.  They’d also come out around the same time, Baekhyun realizing that he kind of liked kissing everyone and Joonmyun realizing that he pretty much liked boys exclusively.  (Except Baekhyun.  They’d kissed once in the backseat on the way home from a club and giggled with adrenaline and only a small bit of mortification over their half-formed erections.  It was as if their cocks were trying to retreat out of second-hand embarrassment as well.)

There was only one way Baekhyun was going to get out of the office, and that was if he snuck out early.  He could work from home just as easily, but the office had a requirement that they all had to show up _in_ the office, to help synergy and communication.  He and the rest of the programmers just put their heads down and headphones on, but they were doing it _in person_ , so that had to help somehow.  But being at the office in person meant that the CEO and the COO and the head of Lifestyle Impressions (whatever that was) were always around, looking over the programmer’s shoulders and asking when things would be ready, like so many hungry children.  No, if Baekhyun wanted to go home and hang out with his friend and have any sense of a normal social life outside of his awful fucking coworkers and their stupid goddamn app, it had to be done covertly.  He’d have to fake sick, then work from home.  Fortunately for Baekhyun, he’d been in a lot of musicals, which required him to have a flair for the dramatic.  All it had taken was a fairly green looking expression after lunch, then quick trips to the bathroom.  After the third round of _excuse-mes_ and speedwalking, his boss asked him to go home and get his lunch out of his system.  It felt bad, but only a little.  He’d already put in sixty hours this week, and it was only Wednesday.

By the time Joonmyun arrived at 8:58, Baekhyun had been home long enough to sort of tidy up.  It wasn’t perfect, but at least he didn’t feel guilty about having guests anymore.  He’d just gotten about halfway into a beer and an episode of Cutthroat Kitchen when there was a knock.  Hopping up from the couch, Baekhyun grinned to himself and opened the door.

“Baekhyun!  Am I late?”  Joonmyun smiled when the door was opened, taking a step backward to allow Baekhyun to invite him in.

Baekhyun shook his head.  “Early, per usual.  Want a beer?”  He moved to allow his friend inside, locking up after him.  Even though they hadn’t worked out romantically, Baekhyun had to admit that Joonmyun looked ridiculously handsome: pinstripe suit, long jacket, and his tie undone just enough to expose a bit of jawline and neck.  Baekhyun swallowed thickly, chastising himself. _Okay, I really need to get laid. **Really** need to get laid.  Myunnie and I tried that._

“A beer would be amazing, thank you.  Did Alton Brown seriously just say that guy had to cook with a potato masher duct taped to his hand?”  Joonmyun took off his coat and shoes and moved to settle onto the sofa.

Returning with an open beer, Baekhyun flopped down next to his friend.  “Yeah, I don’t understand this show either.  It’s like schadenfreude Top Chef.  Which I’m fine with, obviously.  I mean, I’m hooked.”

“Ironic, considering your inability to cook anything more complicated than pasta.”  Joonmyun was smiling as he teased, visibly relaxing.  It was like watching a snake shed its skin, Baekhyun thought; he was watching Joonmyun shake off CEO Kim and return to Myunnie, the dork that always cried at the end of Titanic.

“I actually learned how to make guacamole,” Baekhyun countered.

“Practical.”

Huffing a laugh, Baekhyun grabbed his iPad from the coffee table so they could confer on pizza toppings.  An episode and a half later, he and Joonmyun had decided on their favorite judge (Victoria) and that people who didn’t spend their money early on were just naive, because who went on this show for a big payday?  Baekhyun was enjoying himself, but still wondered why Joonmyun had wanted to meet up.  Hanging out wasn’t a proposition in and of itself.  At least, he hoped it wasn’t.

“You’re not going to try to have sex with me, are you?”  Baekhyun looked over at Joonmyun, who had just taken a sip of beer, which the elder man promptly spittook.

“What?  God, no.”

“Oh, fuck you too.”

“I don’t mean - Baek, we already tried that.  That’s all I mean.  You’re cute, but not for me.  Besides, you’re in love with someone else.  Not a super big turn-on for me.”  Joonmyun was wiping down the coffee table with napkins, dabbing at his button down to see if any beer had soaked the front.  Baekhyun tried to disguise his reddening cheeks by taking another bite of pizza.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Baekhyun muttered around a mouthful of cheese, pepperoni, sausage, and pineapple.

“Of course you don’t,” Joonmyun eyerolled.  “But we can talk about my proposition if you want.”  He reached out to pause the television, tossing his hair to one side.  Baekhyun took a moment to appreciate the view.  Running a company did seem to agree with Joonmyun.  The elder had always been hot, with high cheekbones and a patrician nose set at odds with an adorable smile - but he looked more comfortable in his body that evening.  That looked good on anyone.  In college, Joonmyun had been the same sexually frustrated, awkward, just coming out of puberty that everyone else had been.  It seemed that the last few months had agreed with him.  He was more _sleek_ , somehow.

Settling back, Baekhyun realized he’d been staring, and recently propositioned his friend, even though he didn’t have interest in him.  That probably looked bad.  Fortunately, Joonmyun didn’t seem to notice, and Baekhyun got away with the outright ogling for a moment.

“You hate your job,” Joonmyun started.  This, Baekhyun couldn’t argue with, so he said nothing.  Joonmyun dabbed at his mouth with a napkin.  “Ever thought about getting a new one?”

“Only every twenty minutes, or whenever my boss comes by my desk.  But you know as well as I do that finding a new one is a pain in the ass, especially with the market being shit.”  Baekhyun chuckled, taking a pull of his beer.

“Come work for me at eSomme.”  Joonmyun’s eyes twinkled, and he was smiling in a way that made him look like a contented cat: damnably smug.  eSomme was the successful startup that Joonmyun had been building from the ground up since graduation.

Baekhyun sighed.  He hated turning down Joonmyun when the elder man thought he was right.  “You know I can’t do that.  I don’t want to work for you because you’re my friend, and what’re you gonna do if you have to fire me or something?  I won’t ruin our friendship.”

Joonmyun’s features softened.  “Why are you such a pessimist?  For one, you’ve never been fired from anything, ever.  For two, this is work I know you can do.  And for thirds, that’s what our HR guy is for.  He’s terrifying, and I have full faith in his ability to fire people.  He kind of gets off on it anyway.  It’s sexy, but in that scary sexy way.”  Joonmyun shrugged.  “You know me, as long as you get the work done, I don’t care how it happens.”  Joonmyun’s eyes lit up and he gently nudged Baekhyun’s shoulder.  “Besides, I have an ace in the hole.  I have something no other company has, the one perk that you want more than anything else.”

Baekhyun’s features softened as he listened to Joonmyun.  It was nice having a friend who had faith in his ability not to fuck things up.  And he was pretty sick of spinning his wheels.  With Joonmyun in charge, maybe there’d be an ability to move up in the company someday - or at least get a recommendation when he had to move on.  And there’d be no shortage of office talk.  eSomme had a reputation for exemplifying a youthful, “millennial” office.  Baekhyun had heard rumors about their office parties being things of legend.  

“I was going to say yes after that motivational speech, but go on.”  Baekhyun wondered what this one perk was going to be.

Smugly, Joonmyun sat back and unpaused the episode of Cutthroat Kitchen.  He took a bite of pizza, chewed thoughtfully, and swallowed, before meeting Baekhyun’s eyes.

“I can get you a desk next to Park Chanyeol.”

Swallowing thickly, Baekhyun counted to ten so that he wouldn’t seem too eager.  “Can I start on Monday?”

Joonmyun nodded, grinning.  “I’ll send over the employment agreement to your email when I get home.  Welcome to eSomme, buddy.  Glad you could finally make it.”

**Author's Note:**

> Can you tell what kind of jobs I've worked?
> 
> So, I already have at least nine more chapters of this in my head, and I do have plans for everybody to eventually work at eSomme, and for them to all have their own little bubbles of office gossip. There will be dirty sex eventually, I promise.


End file.
